Monday, December 11, 2017

Posted by adriani zulivan Posted on 1:16:00 AM | No comments

How's Marriage Life?

How's marriage life?

Last night, a friend asked me that question. This was our first meeting after I announced the happy news to some closest friend, three months before the marriage. Unfortunately she couldn't make it to the D-day, since she had to go abroad for working assignment.

That was the first question I get since being a Mrs. 

"This (I pointed at my finger) is the only different," I said.

Honestly, there is no different about me, him, or us, before and after the vows. It's just the wedding ring on my finger (while he doesn't wearing it, because his belief--that I appreciate--says that men shouldn't wear any kind of jewelry).

Two days after the wedding, we went out for some appointment with the vendors like venue, catering, etc. In the car, we talked about our life today.

"Hi husband!" I teased him, since it is quite 'strange' for me (for him too?) to have a new title as "wife" and/or "husband".


"You are my husband, right?" Jokingly, I am asking and stroking his cheek.

"I wonder..." he suddenly step on the brake pedal, change gears, then silence.

"..." I kept waiting.

"It's like... nothing different. I don't know, is it because we're too busy or we're (waiting) too long (to get married)."

"I have the same feeling. I see no different."

Yes, we were too busy during almost six months preparations. We did everything ourselves. Two days before the D-day, we had another conversation on our way to do this and that for the wedding.

"Mas, are you nervous?"

"No... Dunno..."


"We're too busy preparing anything. With all the pressure we face, I can't feel nervous or anything like people say." (Proven, he did the wedding vow fluently 😅)

"Ya, I even lost my curiosity about the excitement on my very last days of being single."

And yes, we were waiting too long before the wedding: more than seven years! This talk reminds me of a friend's comments when I had such a bachelorette party, a week before the D-day.

"I thought you both will never getting marry. I am thinking about a long-lasting relationship, but unmarried. You will always be together, but having ups and downs relations like tons of breakups and reunites."

"Is there any couple with such kind of relationship?"

"Of course, I know some!"

"Oh ya? Well, we had several breakups..."

"Even when they're breakup and try to make relationships with other person, they will ended going back to each other. Or even when they're getting married with other person, their true love will always be with the old ones. In this case, I thought he will be the one who get married first and unhappy with the marriage."

I am laughing out load! She thought, he and I spent too long time together without any plans to get married. This friend of mine is more than 10 years older than me, and have a wonderful 16 years plus marriage life. She is my supervisor on my previous job.

Ten days after the wedding, I asked to go with him for a workshop where he became one of the speakers. I'm so happy to join, since I have nothing to do (yeah literally, I quit my job to prepare the wedding) and I was very 'thirsty' for movement atmosphere and issues discussion--things I didn't do as long as those busy days.

Again on our way to the venue, we're talking about our new life. This is our first public appearance (cieh prikitiw) as Mr and Mrs.

"What will you say if they ask who am I?"

"It's like... you're always with me where ever I am. We're going together (in almost every occasion) to meet many different communities. They're the same person we met (when we were not a husband and wife, yet). They knew us. They even think that we are married, long before."

"Ya, but... we sleep together. I can hold you every single time I want to. We go back to the same place we call 'home'. That's the different today."

Long long time ago before we had the idea to get marry, he often asked when will we go back to the same home, when he drove me home. Today I can say: It's now, sayang!

It's a month now. 11.11 to 11.12.

So, a month married life means... as simple as a ring on my finger (I never put a ring on for every single day in my life before). It's the ring that he put on me after he said the vows.

Today I'm happy, just like the happiness I felt 32 days ago, two months ago, a year ago, even seven years ago. Nothing has changed.

Happy a month, Mas!

#SebelasSebelas |


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