How's Marriage Life?

How's marriage life?

Last night, a friend asked me that question. This was our first meeting after I announced the happy news to some closest friend, three months before the marriage. Unfortunately she couldn't make it to the D-day, since she had to go abroad for working assignment.

That was the first question I get since being a Mrs. 

"This (I pointed at my finger) is the only different," I said.

Honestly, there is no different about me, him, or us, before and after the vows. It's just the wedding ring on my finger (while he doesn't wearing it, because his belief--that I appreciate--says that men shouldn't wear any kind of jewelry).

Two days after the wedding, we went out for some appointment with the vendors like venue, catering, etc. In the car, we talked about our life today.

"Hi husband!" I teased him, since it is quite 'strange' for me (for him too?) to have a new title as "wife" and/or "husband".

"Hummm..."

"You are my husband, right?" Jokingly, I am asking and stroking his cheek.

"I wonder..." he suddenly step on the brake pedal, change gears, then silence.

"..." I kept waiting.

"It's like... nothing different. I don't know, is it because we're too busy or we're (waiting) too long (to get married)."

"I have the same feeling. I see no different."

Yes, we were too busy during almost six months preparations. We did everything ourselves. Two days before the D-day, we had another conversation on our way to do this and that for the wedding.

"Mas, are you nervous?"

"No... Dunno..."

"..."

"We're too busy preparing anything. With all the pressure we face, I can't feel nervous or anything like people say." (Proven, he did the wedding vow fluently 😅)

"Ya, I even lost my curiosity about the excitement on my very last days of being single."

And yes, we were waiting too long before the wedding: more than seven years! This talk reminds me of a friend's comments when I had such a bachelorette party, a week before the D-day.

"I thought you both will never getting marry. I am thinking about a long-lasting relationship, but unmarried. You will always be together, but having ups and downs relations like tons of breakups and reunites."

"Is there any couple with such kind of relationship?"

"Of course, I know some!"

"Oh ya? Well, we had several breakups..."

"Even when they're breakup and try to make relationships with other person, they will ended going back to each other. Or even when they're getting married with other person, their true love will always be with the old ones. In this case, I thought he will be the one who get married first and unhappy with the marriage."

I am laughing out load! She thought, he and I spent too long time together without any plans to get married. This friend of mine is more than 10 years older than me, and have a wonderful 16 years plus marriage life. She is my supervisor on my previous job.

Ten days after the wedding, I asked to go with him for a workshop where he became one of the speakers. I'm so happy to join, since I have nothing to do (yeah literally, I quit my job to prepare the wedding) and I was very 'thirsty' for movement atmosphere and issues discussion--things I didn't do as long as those busy days.

Again on our way to the venue, we're talking about our new life. This is our first public appearance (cieh prikitiw) as Mr and Mrs.

"What will you say if they ask who am I?"

"It's like... you're always with me where ever I am. We're going together (in almost every occasion) to meet many different communities. They're the same person we met (when we were not a husband and wife, yet). They knew us. They even think that we are married, long before."

"Ya, but... we sleep together. I can hold you every single time I want to. We go back to the same place we call 'home'. That's the different today."

Long long time ago before we had the idea to get marry, he often asked when will we go back to the same home, when he drove me home. Today I can say: It's now, sayang!

It's a month now. 11.11 to 11.12.

So, a month married life means... as simple as a ring on my finger (I never put a ring on for every single day in my life before). It's the ring that he put on me after he said the vows.


Today I'm happy, just like the happiness I felt 32 days ago, two months ago, a year ago, even seven years ago. Nothing has changed.

Happy a month, Mas!

#SebelasSebelas | sebelassebelas.org

Mlekom,
AZ

Devian of The Family

What's your father?
He's a civil servant.

Government officials?
Yes, Ministry of Finance.

Your mom?
She was a banker.

She was?
Early retirement, since dad moved to a small town as required by the office. Her office had no branch there, and she had to go with him.

Do you have siblings?
A sister, older than me, is a banker too. While my younger brother is a student of finance.

Ah, an economic-finance family I may say. So you are a devian!
Well...

👀

It was my conversation with a colleague from the UK, around 2013. 

Yes I am a devian of the family, but I am Zulivan's--still 😂 
And today like another family member, I am celebrating the Zulivan anniversary too. Yay!

Happy 38 years, Mama and Papa. Happy Zulivan's Day to all the squad!

Mlekom,
AZ

Fashion for Every Shapes: The Fashion that Drive Healthy Modelling Industry

The fashion industry was stunned, when the two French biggest fashion brand’s owner Kering and LVMH, declared that they would not use the zero size model anymore. It is as a response to criticism that fashion industry encourages eating disorders to the models. This commitment was announced on September this year, which immediately invited a long debate. 

Kering owns Gucci and Saint Laurent, while Louis Vuitton and Christian Dior owned by LVMH. These two luxury fashion groups have banned excessively thin models from casting requirements, for their catwalk shows and ad campaigns worldwide. This ban applies to models with the size of below 34 (France) which is similar with the size 6 (Britain), 0 (US), or XXS (international).

There is no record when was the first time the fashion industry began to use only bone-thin models. In 2013, the former editor of Australian Vogue Kirstie Clements wrote for Guardian about thin-obsessed culture in fashion industry. 

“In the late 80s and early 90s, beauties such as Cindy Crawford, Eva Herzigová and Claudia Schiffer look positively curvaceous compared to the sylphs of today. There was a period in the last three years when some of the girls on the runways were so young and thin. And they have become smaller since the early 90s,” she wrote.

Size zero is the main requirement on fashion industry in 21st century. Having very thin and tall body, also shape face and hips are the biggest tickets to work on the modelling industry. The difference is, today the models that have the body shape like those needed by the fashion industry, get the shape unnaturally. They hurt their bodies to keep the shapes, like choosing not to eat when they are starving. The disease caused by those kind of eating disorder, is the reason for some group to criticize this size zero rules.

Long before the charter of Kering and LVMH, Madrid Fashion Week and Milan Fashion Show banned size zero models after the death of Luisel Ramos from anorexia in 2006. The year after, the British Fashion Council established guidelines for fashion industry to use healthy models, while the government of Italy set up regulation and began to introduced larger sizes models.


Giorgio Armani eliminated ultra-thin models to support against anorexia. Victoria Beckham barred 12 models from appearing in her New York Fashion Week runway show in 2010, as she wants her fashion be modelled by healthy girls who look realistic to encourage positive image. In 2011, model Katie Green launched the “Say No to Size Zero” campaign to pushed the UK legislation to require health checkups for models before assignments. While having a body mass index (BMI) of no less than 18.4 is a must for models in Israel, by the law in 2012.

Since the list of parties that should be responsible for the disease caused by the modelling industry --starting from talent scouts, modeling agencies, designers, fashion editors, photographers, etc; stakeholders now have better attention to the models. They also have similar agreements about the importance of making fashion as the products needed by everyone, for every customers with all types of body shapes, sizes, and heights

__
Written for a two-days-fashion-articles challenge.
Picture grabbed from here.

Jakarta Biennale 2017: Menjiwai Seni, Menyenikan Jiwa

Karya paling bermakna adalah karya yang muncul dari kedalaman jiwa. Saya meyakini hal ini, termasuk dalam hal berkesenian. Karya seni yang muncul dari kedalaman jiwa, bagi saya, merupakan produk seni terbaik yang dapat dihasilkan oleh seorang seniman.

Jika demikian, maka tak mengherankan jika karya seni yang ditampilkan dalam Jakarta Biennale 2017 (JB 2017) miliki kedalaman makna yang sangat sarat pesan. Dari soal identitas kebangsaan, pembalakan hutan, penggusuran warga, hingga kegelisahan akan kebhinekaan hadir di dalamnya. Hal tersebut sesuai dengan tema yang diambil pada penyelenggaraan tahun ini: jiwa.

Gambar di atas merupakan karya seniman Robert Zhao Renhui asal Singapura. Karya berjudul “The World will Surely Collapse, Trying to Remember a Tree (III)” ini mencoba memberi makna berbeda atas peristiwa penebangan pohon yang terjadi di lingkungan tempat tinggalnya. Sang seniman kerap meneliti makna semantik pada mahluk hidup di sekitar, serta bagaimana manusia merekayasa alam.

Patung Gus Dur yang meniru "The Sleeping Buddha", karya Dolorosa Sinaga.

Patung besar berwarna emas yang membentuk sosok Gus Dur sedang rebahan dengan kopiah dan sarungnya itu, merupakan salah satu karya favorit saya. Patung ini meniru karya populer dunia "The Sleeping Buddha", yang mengundang pikir tentang keluwesan sang Guru Bangsa tersebut dalam memaknai perbedaan. Makna yang sangat kekinian untuk menggambarkan kegelisahan sang seniman akan kerinduan kita pada sosok pluralis seperti kyai besar Nahdlatul Ulama tersebut.

Dokumentasi proses berkarya seniman Semsar Siahaan.

Dokumentasi berupa hasil karya dan proses berkarya seniman besar Semsar Siahaan pun menjadi koleksi pameran yang paling saya minati. Selain memajang karya berupa lukisan, ditampilkan pula coretan sketsa yang mengawali kerja sang seniman dalam pembuatan karya, juga didukung dengan dokumentasi berupa foto koleksi keluarga yang membuat kisah hidupnya menjadi lebih hidup.

Khusus koleksi ini, saya memiliki kebanggaan tersendiri. Saya baru tahu bahwa ternyata, Semsar Siahaan lah yang membuat gambar yang sangat terkenal di masanya itu yang muncul dalam ingatan saya hingga hari ini. Ini adalah gambar dalam poster yang menjadi ikon pergerakan buruh Indonesia di masa itu.

Poster advokasi perjuangan buruh gambarkan
sosok Marsinah, karya Semsar Siahaan.

Poster tiga warna itu gambarkan sosok perempuan mengepalkan tangan, yang berdiri di depan memimpin barisan buruh. Ialah Marsinah, buruh pabrik yang merupakan aktivis gerakan buruh yang ditemukan meninggal pada 1993. Goresan dalam poster ini kemudian menjadi genre gambar dalam banyak poster gerakan perlawanan kaum tertindas lain. Dari kasus wartawan Udin tahun 1996, aktivis Munir tahun 2004, hingga penggusuran lahan untuk calon bandara baru Yogyakarta yang tengah bergulir kini.

Beserta puluhan karya lainnya, ketiga karya tersebut seakan mengajak kita untuk ikut menjiwai karya seni, dengan memaknainya sebagai bentuk suara jiwa yang disenikan. Kegelisahan, peringatan, hingga perayaan akan peristiwa yang dialami jiwa, dalam JB 2017 muncul sebagai bentuk karya seni.

Sebagaimana penyelenggaraan sebelumnya, JB 2017 hadirkan seniman dari berbagai kota dan negara. Dari dalam negeri, saya mengagumi karya Ni Tanjung berjudul "Dunia Leluhur" berupa wayang yang membentuk wajah para dewa mitologi Hindu Bali. Tak main-main, karya yang dibuat dengan bahan sederhana berupa kardus bekas ini telah menarik perhatian dunia art brut Eropa. Art brut merupakan karya seni ciptaan mereka yang memiliki gangguan kejiwaan.

Karya Nikhil Chopra merupakan penampilan terbaik seniman asing yang saya kagumi. Seniman asal India ini menampilkan beragam unsur seni sekaligus dalam karyanya "Land Water", yaitu seni lukis, kriya dan teater. Selain wujud yang menarik, karya ini ditampilkan dengan pesan mendalam soal kesewenangan yang dilakukan penguasa politik.

Saya pada JB 2017 di Gudang Sarinah Ekosistem.

Yang menjadi pembeda antara penyelenggaraan JB 2017 dengan yang sebelumnya adalah, bertambahnya lokasi penyelenggaraan. Jika sebelumnya terpusat hanya di Gudang Sarinah Ekosistem, kali ini juga diselenggarakan di Museum Sejarah Jakarta, Museum Seni Rupa dan Keramik, serta Institut Français d’Indonésie (IFI). Penambahan tempat penyelenggaraan ini potensial untuk makin mendekatkan masyarakat Jakarta pada karya seni.

Selain pameran, JB 2017 yang berlangsung sejak 4 November hingga 10 Desember 2017 ini, juga menampilkan seni pertunjukan dan simposium. Puluhan agenda hadir untuk memanjakan masyarakat dan pecinta seni, yang dapat diikuti secara gratis.